Medical Bills discovered to be the biggest killer in the US.

Isaac Lungu | 11:22 AM |

By Africanlegend.

A recent study has concluded that medical bills are biggest killer of United States residents, closely edging out: cancer, heart disease, HIV, and exposure to Michael Bolton music. This revelation has come after a 3 year long study from's Institute of Medical Research, which found that an increasing number of Americans were suffering from heart failure, stroke, brain aneurysms and other related diseases after receiving their exorbitant medical bills.

In 2007, the US spent and average of $7,421 per resident and accounted for 16.2% of the nation’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP). These figures are no doubt rising every year. Many residents simply have no idea where to turn to. “I was perfectly healthy before I went for a check up this year,” explained Isaac, an irate Cambridge resident. Isaac even claimed the doctor pointed out that he had not seen a healthy, black, athletic specimen like him since he gave Michael Jordan a check up 13 years ago. Isaac went on to explain, “I received a my bill in the mail 2 weeks later and it had so many zeros I thought it was the week's lottery cash prize. I had a minor stroke and ended up hospitalized for 3 days. I have consequently had 3 strokes due to subsequent bills I received from all the previous strokes.” This is not atypical as medical bill related hospitalizations have been increasing by 30.91% every year since 2007.

There are several other hazards associated with the US health Care System that are claiming lives and causing illness. If you have an emergency, ironically the emergency room is the last place you might want to go to for help. “Emergency room! It felt more like purgatory, a slow painful journey into the abyss.” explained a livid Mr Remy who reportedly spent 8 hours in an emergency room nursing a broken toe he sustained at a Nascar Rally. "I waited forever! Then the Doctor came in asked me how I was doing, took my temperature, stole my wallet and left. It lasted about 3 minutes tops!" Mr Remy explained that later he had to be treated for starvation, dehydration, extreme fatigue and dementia on account of his never ending wait. “Oh and if the wait won't kill you, the medical bill certainly will! When I saw how huge my bill was, I wondered if I was brought to the hospital via a medical air evacuation or flown in from Another continent!!!" Mr Remy also added that he had lost 8 friends that year to medical bill related injuries.

With medical costs being 44% higher than the next highest country Switzerland, President Obama is currently campaigning for a public option to help drive down the cost of privatized health care. The idea is people to be able to not only get medicare if they qualify but to have a cheaper universal health care program. This would provide competition and offer a cheaper public option. Sounds reasonable right? Well we shall wait and see if it can come to fruition because If there is one thing politics has in abundance it is "say no for no reason douchebags."