Stuff Black People like (Volume 2)

1. Defending black celebrities that are obviously guilty.
Although black people will avoid telling white people anything of the sort, most of them will tell you they know for a fact that the likes of R Kelly, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson are all extremely guilty of the crimes brought forth against them. Black people will never condemn a black celebrity. This will be the case even if there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary like; several eye witnesses, a 450 megapixel photograph, a 1080i High Definition video tape of the incident, the assailant's passport, a social security card and a written confession signed by two Supreme Court justices and President Obama himself. Every Black person knows OJ did it, but they will never overcome their own blackness to the point where they can actually admit it in the presence of white people.

2. Annoying white people.
This is one of the more enjoyable things black people like to do because it is so remarkable easy. White people live in an ordered world with rules, governed by linear time. Black people like nothing more than to disorder this world and throw it off balance. This annoys white people. Black people will cut lines, arrive late, talk at a classical music performance, not recycle, date white girls. They will do anything to upset the balance white people worked so hard, and for so long to create.

3. Water Melon.
Second only to chicken, water melon has been a staple of black cuisine for years due to its ease of consumption and ubiquitous nature (available at any supermarket near you). Both hydrating and filling, its duo purpose has made water melon black peoples' snack of choice. There was a brief epoch in time when white people tried to incorporate it into their diet as a favorite but after the “Watermelon Rebellion of 1785” and the realization that it is more complicated to consume with a fork than bare handed, it was seceded to the black diet by 1805 and has remained there ever since.

4. Cops (The TV Show).

It is a known fact that black people do not like law enforcement of any sort. All law enforcement agencies, from military forces all the way to mall cops are looked down upon by black people. Intuitively, you would assume that because of this genetic predisposition to dislike law enforcement, black people would hate a show whose premise is to incarcerate criminals, who from casual observation, are usually black. However, while white people watch Cops and applaud the police officers for outstanding work and dedication, black people usually watch it and root for the criminals. They want to see their fellow black man escape incarceration and often sit on the edge of their seat yelling directions and tips aimed at aiding and abetting the escape. Ironically the criminal never escapes but black people still enjoy the camaraderie the show inspires.

5. Tiger Woods.
Remember a time when golf was played by only white people and V.J Singh? Suddenly, there was a tidal wave of change as an arguably black man, began to slowly impose his dominance on the sport. Black people like Tiger Woods for his part in stealing yet another previously all white sport. In recent times there has been serious dispute as to whether Tiger Woods is indeed black. His behavior, voice and appearance have left him as an enigmatic figure for black people. After doing advertisements for Buick, a known white vehicle, the outrage it caused in the black community resulted in Tiger Woods current status, as a 'blackapproved' product, being placed under review.

6. Bill Clinton.
Up until his recent comments during the electoral primary, black people loved Bill Clinton! The fact that Bill Clinton is a democrat and not a republican, makes him automatically more appealing to black people, but the main reason is the fact that he transcended the realm of “Straight Pimpin”. When Bill Clinton enters a room, it seems appropriate to play Jay-Z's "Big Pimping" in the background to set the tone. Scandals with over 11 different women (See Clinton's taste in women explained), most notably Monica Lewinski, caused mass outrage in the white community resulting in Bill Clinton's impeachment in 1999. As consistent with item number 2 on this list, the number of white people Bill Clinton managed to annoy in one fell swoop made him the equivalent of the movie “Scarface” in the black community. Bill Clinton's taste in women also indicated a preference for women with more “cushion for the pushin”. So after a culmination of all those factors Bill Clinton became elevated in the black community and is considered on the same level as a “ black celebrity that is obviously guilty.”

See Stuff black people like (volume 1)

COMING SOON STUFF BLACK PEOPLE LIKE VOLUME 3!!