BYU vs New Mexico Women's soccer Fight: The truth revealed about this epic cat fight.

Occasionally you may hear a conversation about how soccer is a non-physical sport played by “foot fairies.” This all changed last week when footage was released depicting a savagely physical soccer game where one player took it upon herself to terrorize each and every member of the other team; an act of terror even Al-Qaeda attempted to take credit for. Scratching, eye gouging, bitch-slapping and hair pulling were on display as the late Bruce Lee churned in his grave seeing his, “Jeet Kune Do” fighting style applied to collegiate sports.

The question on everyone's mind is what drove Elisabeth Lambertt to go postal on national TV? A bad day? A poor score on her biology exam? APMS (Aggravated Post Menstrual Syndrome)? What could possibly have caused a nice young lady to act in such a way? After the Stuff-about.com team saw Africanlegend (AL) watch the video of the incident, we noticed an insidious grin pasted on his face, so we decided to interrogated him. This incident had his signature chaotic feel to it.

We sat AL in a room and began to question him about what he knew. After almost three hours of Bill Clinton-like evasive answers, we decided we may need to take drastic measures. Since we considered this to be a matter of national security, we felt we were constitutionally sanctioned to take a few pages out of the Abu Ghraib “friendly persuasion” tactics manual. This included: sleep deprivation, forced stress positions, forced nudity and the use of dogs to scare and bite him. After three days, AL finally admitted that during his exile he had been involved in an affair of “pasion” with the main culprit, Elisabeth Lambertt when she kept him safe in her dorm room. Being a soccer player himself and finding girls that play the game irresistible, AL found himself involved in numerous love affairs with members of several other teams when he attended the dress rehearsal of the The NCAA's Honors Celebration that is to be held later in January 2010. We later found out several of them played for BYU, the team that felt the full wrath of the Lambertt assault. AL has been mildly reprimanded but due to the sheer entertainment value of the video and the fact that the ladies were exceptionally good looking AL will face no further sanctions or punishment.

So yes Ladies and gentlemen this was all just one big cat fight over a boy....but aren't they all!!

SEE THE VIDEO OF THE INCIDENT!



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Lets keep racism AND violence out of soccer....spread peace not war!