Editor's note: "Why are your pictures always of white people?"By The Webmaster.
Sexcalation is the process by which sexual tension keeps escalating between two people who insist they are “Just friends” to the point where shenanigans are inevitable. The unique quality of sexcalatory situations is that the principal imbeciles are in total denial of the mechanisms at work and hence appear completely oblivious to it. They enjoy each other's company, they love to be around each other, they have the same tastes, similar humor and they look like one of those cheesy model couples on a Cosmopolitan Magazine cover page. The sexual tension is thick and when they are together, they gaze into each others eyes like fools, flirt excessively and groom in a way similar to that of the Vervet Monkey of Southern Africa (see picture below).
"I am just doing what any good friend would do!!"To the rest of the world, their attraction for one another is as obvious as that fact that Michael Jackson had “work done” on his nose or that Ben Aflec can't act. It is so obvious that most outside observers have already given them combined names similar to celebrity couples like “Brangelina” or “Bennifer,” only the names are more lame and pitiful like, “The fools” or “The love birds.” They also say things to one of them, knowing full well it is as good as live broadcast to the both of them:
Example
Jenn: You didn't invite me to the party??
Kate: Yeah I did. I sent James the invitation.
Jenn: You can't send James an invitation and expect ME to come to your party based on that!
Kate: Ok, Ok...I get it...but thanks for coming anyway! Enjoy the party; the cups are in the kitchen!
Things sexcalate and when they finally hook up, they are the only people on the planet that are surprised. They are more surprised to find out their friends have been taking bets on the issue for months. They are even more surprised to find out the bets were on WHEN it would happen, rather than IF it would actually happen. Joke's on you, “Foolish Love Birds.”
17 comments:
Why does this description seem remarkably familiar haha?? This happens SOOO often!
I totally agree with the editor!!
It's not my fault if black people are not on google images! They need to start to populate large picture databases. Maybe google is racist.
This DOES sound oddly familiar....I must've seen it in a movie or something
Ok so I have a friend who continually flirts with me even though he has a girlfriend and since I enjoy the flirting I have decided to just enjoy it. I am sure he is attracted to me but wont ask me out coz of the girlfriend obvioulsy. Not sure if this can be considered sexcalation but its definitely heading somewhere. So where does one draw the line?? I think he should quit flirting that way we wont sexcalate!!!
Obviously Mr Webmaster you havent searched hard enough so I decided to help you out.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&um=1&sa=1&q=black+couples&btnG=Search+images&aq=f&oq=&aqi=g2g-m2
Hi Jane!
I think there is nothing wrong with innocent playful banter (flirting) in male, female friendships. In fact it can just be part of healthy communication. So I think it depends on what kind of flirting is going on. If it is building attraction between the two of you it may sexcalate and you will find each other in loving embrace someday and wonder how you ended up there. He has a girlfriend so you should definitely stay away from any kind of communication that encourages building any kind of attraction. It won't hurt to remind him that he has a gf and that he should respect that from time to time. That's my take on it. If he wants you badly enough he should be a man and "make a play" and stop hiding behind a gf :-).
The Webmaster guy is a closet racist Sahara...he just won't admit it (haha)...those are nice pics. Maybe I wish write an article and use then. What do you think?
HAH! "black + couples" in the address. How did you ever find it?
I'm amazed at the surprise. I don't feel like us guys are ever at a point when we aren't planning on the "unexpected" hook-up (assuming alcohol has not had a significant detriment on our faculties).
Hey Ironman, its called google!!
And definitely you could try using some of those lovely images AL!! As for the webmaster he has so many titles which now include racist and plagiarist. Not to mention he is so jealous of you AL!!
Hey Jane the guy is a JERK, stay away from him!! I am sure he would "love" it if his girlfriend was hitting on another guy!!
He is not a jerk. Sometimes people move you inside. There is nothing you can do about being attracted. He isn't an asshole for it. Is he?
How come its always the guy making the moves, the guys fault? That is so false! Sometimes the girl knows the score but she makes sure she subtly encourages being hit on. It's not like you can hit on a girl with 0 response and keep it up. So I am calling out women on that one!
He is definitely the FAJ (Father of All Jerks) if you ask me. There is simply no excuse for flirting and hitting on another girl if you are dating another!!
Um yeah you can. I have seen it happen to me since time in memorial!!
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