"At a bar near you"
The Male Silverback Gorilla's mating ritual consists of posturing, muscle flexing, chest beating, loud grunts, stancing and generally showing off in front of the female in a ritualized dance. There is a very good reason why this sounds like the behavior of a typical dbag that you might find inhabiting a local bar. The truth is, we are not unlike our savage counterparts and the primitive rituals associated with dating and courtship can actually be explained through evolutionary biology. Here is a scientific explanation of a few common dating trends.
1.Women are more picky than men.
Evolutionary science can explain why it is that males have a slightly more liberal approach to selecting mates than females. The answer lies in our reproductive mechanisms. A female produces one egg a month but man produces billions of little soldiers ready to attack at anytime. For this reason a woman has to be more selective in her endeavor. A woman's reproductive system can be compared to a revolver; very few bullets that must be well aimed and timed to get maximum effect. Conversely, a male's reproductive system works more like automatic machine gun mounted on a chopper, yielded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, capable of firing a million bullets per second and hitting the target only because of the sheer number of bullets fired.
2.Women love Dbags!
It is no secret that women have a tendency to go for Dbags. This is not a novel concept neither is it necessary from an evolutionary standpoint since a douchbag is not exactly a reliable mate. Why does it still happen then? The answer is douchbaggery in a male closely resembles the classic traits males USED to need in a harsh world where being eaten by a giant anaconda was a legitimate fear. Jock-like strength, physical prowess, decisiveness and bravery were all useful traits to promote survival. Although today's dbag has added superfluous elements like ill-treatment of women, popped collars, backwards hats and bluetooth head sets, he still displays more classically male traits then a nice, pathetically submissive, wimpy guy.
3.Bars are mostly full of dbags.
In evolutionary science you have Natural Selection and Sexual Selection. Natural Selection's goal is directed toward successful continuation of a species by preserving the best genes. Sexual Selection is about preferential traits one gender sees in the other which are not necessarily useful for survival. For example, the female peacocks randomly decided to sleep with the males that had the brightest, most colorful feathers. This rendered the male deafeningly visible to its predators, standing in the wilderness like a dbag with a bull's eye on it buttocks. In relation to humans, women are sexually selecting nice guys out of existence and driving them away from bars to bookstores and coffee shops where they have a better chance of finding a mate.
4. Men like curvy women.
From an evolutionary standpoint, the explanation to this is simple. Women with larger hip areas had a greater chance to survive child birth. In the early stages of development and carrying through to modern times human males have been reluctant parents. Civilization even had to enforce laws, like child support, to force males to be parents. Due to this strange biologically-related tendency, males gravitated to picking the female most likely to survive so they would not have do parenting of any sort. By mating with a female survivor, the male could have time to focus on more important things like playing the "X-Rock" (distant ancestor of what we call the X-Box) with his friends and mixing wheat and barley which would later be liquidized and sold worldwide under the name "beer."
