1. 6 reasons to avoid a relationship
By Sparklingjem.
The Webmaster requested an article on reasons people avoid relationships. AL felt the fact that he was a man would invalidate his views on the subject and thus make a mockery of the article. He also mentioned that I make a career out of relationship avoidance and evasion. I vehemently disagreed with him but after finding it astoundingly easy to write the article, I finally conceded that there was some truth to his, usually incorrect, rhetoric. It turns out, I could have written 1 million ways hehe.
2. Arrest a Negro Coupon.
By AL.
It was in the middle of the William Gates scandal during the summer. Just to refresh your memory, a white neighbor called the Police on a black neighbor while he attempted to break into his own house. So I thought about how many times this type of story re-occurs and why? I wondered what would happen if white people got coupons in the mail, similar to those for buying groceries but instead they were for arresting their unsuspecting negro neighbors?
3. 10 signs she is just not into you.
By AL.
I realised my phalanx of previous experiences with females in my youth had one thing in common. Failure! Not just regular failure either, grandiosely comical failure. I usually went for the “big play” moves that left ladies chuckling at my sheer stupidity. So I figured there was no one better than me at recognizing when females are just NOT into a guy. I have since become a younger Denzel-like figure hehe.
4. Vocabulary: Blacknowledgement
By AL.
I was outside a bar with a few of my white friends and this black guy drove by in a car, nodded his head and made a gesture of goodwill and salutation. I returned it and my friend Mark asked me a very profound question. "Do you even know that guy?" Then it dawned on me, I had no idea who he was, he could have been Ghandi for all I knew, but we still found common ground and solace in each other. We knew we were completely surrounded by white people and needed to acknowledge each other for support. The "Blacknowledgement" was born.
5. The banning of married people from bars: The Susan Crown Laws.
By The Webmaster.
My friend and I were wife sitting our good friend over summer. We jokingly attacked her claiming that she was married and should really be sitting at home watching Desperate Housewives, The Price is Right or whatever married women watch to alleviate the boredom. Then I met a girl and talked to her till the bar closed only to find out she was hitched.....I turned to the law to stop this madness.
6. Medical Bills discovered to be the biggest killer in the US.
By The Webmaster.
I received a medical bill that caused me a temporary bout of indigestion. At that moment, I thought to myself, “Getting health care in the US is expensive. If I got seriously ill and the ailment didn't kill me, the bill certainly would.” So I wrote the article. It worked out well since Obama was and is currently battling the “Old white guys” for health care reform.
7. 6 foolproof ways to get him to listen
By Sparklingjem.
I came across an article in a women's magazine called 6 fool proof ways to get him to listen. I read the article and thought it was total rubbish and very unhelpful so I wrote my own version.
8. Google is Racist
By AL.
It is!
9. Diary of a concerned citizen: Lesbos announce thyselves.
By Kevin McClean.
I met this cute girl who gave me her phone number. I looked her up on Facebook and her page indicated she was in a relationship with another girl. I am aware that lonely girls often decide to be “engaged” to their "BFF4LYF" in an attempt to alleviate loneliness. But I thought for sure she was a lesbo because of her membership to all of the "gay" affiliated groups Facebook has to offer. So I was like, "What!? Damn!" She turned out to be straight after all, but that certainly didn't stop me from writing about it.
10. How to tell if you’re living next door to a serial killer
By Sparklingjem.
I was watching this movie about a serial killer and I suddenly realised that not only did the serial killer look a lot like my neighbour Dan, the house also looked almost identical. In fact I have not looked at him the same way since. I became quite concerned and vowed to discover all that I could because you never know, you could be car pooling with a serial killer and end up as a "story" on CNN.
Bubbling under:
10 clues you are addicted to Facebook.
Vocabulary: Sexcalation
It's really just American girls that suck.
9 Healthy ways to get over a break up
9 tips for successful slacking
What was your favorite article in 2009...??
