How to be the Hottest, most Attractive Guy at the Bar!

Isaac Lungu | 10:35 AM |

"Yes this will even work for HIM"
By Africanlegend
Many men are distracted by external characteristics thinking that they are what women find attractive. So they think they should be 6"0 tall, black, muscular and have a deep voice to be the hottest item. But what if you are short, white, weak and have a voice like Mariah Carey. You can become a gym rat and maybe catch a bit of a tan but you can't really get any blacker and you certainly can't get any taller.  Is there hope for you? Observe a quote from a girl I know. (She is fairly attractive and so would be considered a decent catch.)

"We [girls]like to be special - not your last ditch attempt to do something on a friday night. We like to know other women want you but we won."

It is a woman's genetic imperative to pick the male with the finest genes. Since normal woman don't go pricking men with needles and stealing their tooth brushes and locks of hair for genetic testing, how do they do it?

They assume the guy that is desired by most females must be the one with the most superior genetic make up. Since this is their assumption, it makes them very easy to fool. So here is a flawless method to make you the hottest, most attractive guy in your local bar.

1. Find two knock out beautiful women. Preferably not one of your female friends, they will tend to sabotage everything you do to keep you for themselves. Have the women walk with you into the bar. Immediately all the women in the room will by default think the women on your arms are bitches simply because they are attractive (it's genetic).

2. Have THEM buy YOU drinks. If you buy them drinks, you do nothing but affirm that they are hanging out with you as a favor and you are paying for it.

3. Go on to the dance floor and dance with both of them. Make it The Salsa, The Tango or any type of dance that looks like some type of vertical fornication.

4. During the dance, have them fight over you. As fun as it would be to see two hotties fighting, don't let them throw any punches or pull any hair because it may turn into a real fight. Get in between them, hold them apart and loudly say. 

"Ladies this is enough! If you aren't going to behave we are leaving! Get your stuff"

Drop a 50 on the bar top and walk out. Have them pick up your stuff and follow you out.

Even if you look like the love child of Swamp Thing and Rosanne Bar, there will be a domino effect and all the girls will find you irresistible. The phenomenon will grow exponentially. They will all like you and not quite know why.

 Granted years later when it is all over they will all say,

"What the hell did we see in that skinny asshole anyway."

But honestly who cares, for you it was MISSION ACCOMPLISHED :-)