1200 MHz Enhanced Superfluous Information Storage.
16 Core, 256 channel Memory Processor.
Super XVGA Facial Expression and Body Language Recognition Software.
Hyperthreading Vocal pitch analysis.
1000GB Reality Modifier
4000 Watt Random Tear Generator.
If you do not understand these tools, you are doomed to lose arguments for the rest of your life and in the worst case scenario, be driven to OJ Simpson-like behavior. Here’s the first tip to avoid making the 8 o’clock News.
Tip 1: Abandon All Logic:
Many people say women are not logical creatures. This is misleading. I have met many logical women. Women just know that if they keep the argument in the realm of the logic, then we actually stand a chance of winning. So they call on their emotive side to fabricate scenarios and arguments that confuse men and derail them off of any logical track they were on.
The scenario will have nothing to do with the actual problem. If you looked at the beautiful girl that walked in the bar, the argument will likely be about you chewing too loudly in front of relatives, always using the microwave on high or buying fat free milk because you think she is fat. If you cling to your idea that this is a logical exercise, you may argue for three hours and end up caving in and buying her whole milk. A few days later she will scream at you, claiming you think she is so skinny that you changed from fat free milk to whole milk just to fatten her up.
Don’t be another naive man and think you didn’t do anything wrong. You did! Just re-trace your most recent activities. Include all moments that involved other beautiful women and occasions where you promised to deliver something and failed to do so. Even if you think it is little, include it on the list of suspects. In fact, thinking something is insignificant should be also added onto the list. Only 0.34% of males ever figure out their original infraction, so if you actually figure it out, she will be so confused, yet impressed, that she will lose her way and cave in.
COMING SOON: TIP 2, Take cheap shots!