#9 Mirrors
By Africanlegend
A typical mirror is a sheet of glass that is coated on one side with aluminum or silver that produces images by reflection. The method of backing a plate of flat glass with a thin sheet of reflecting metal dates back to Venice during the 16th century but mentions of the use of copper plates and other reflective surfaces as mirrors date back to even before the Roman Empire. Present-day mirrors are made by sputtering a thin layer of molten aluminum or silver onto the back of a plate of glass in a vacuum (source).
Unless you live in some derelict part of the world or amidst a civil war or mass genocide, in which case the post is sadly impertinent to you, you have probably looked in a mirror today and will likely do so several more times during the course of the day. The most important invention mirrors are fundamental to is probably the telescope but their applications are endless and photography and early film would not have been possible with them.
That being said, the most important, yet un-appreciated purpose of a mirror is to bestow upon us the ability to see things at angles and in directions that we wouldn’t ordinarily be able to see, making them fundamental safety features in cars and other vehicles. They also help us see an image of ourselves. This is profound since the basis of social etiquette mandates that we all maintain certain minimum levels of hygiene. We need mirrors to show us how we look because people will NEVER tell us until it's way too late. There is some misplaced social taboo about telling someone that they have slobber all over their collar. People honestly just avoid telling you if they can........You can literally be walking around WITH:1 ounce of mysterious, ill-descript white liquid dangling from your hair.
A booger swinging like vine from one nostril.
A cockroach on your cheek.
Your zipper undone, with no evidence of underwear.
To patches of perspiration, creating bull's-eye targets under your armpits.
An erupted pimple, oozing molten, bacterial lava.
Your butt crack peering out form the top of your jeans like Peeping Tom.
…..And even though you are with, four co-workers, three best friends that you’ve know since you were four years old, four sisters and big brother, your dad, your mom, your step-mom and a hygiene and social etiquette specialist with a degree form Harvard and Stanford…THEY STILL WON’T TELL YOU HAVE CRAP ALL OVER YOUR FACE UNTILL SOMEWHERE NEAR THE END OF THE NIGHT WHEN IT IS WAY TOO LATE.
I recently experienced a perfect example of this. Last night I was at wings night watching Football. I did my best to concentrate on the game but it had become an impossible proposition. This girl had sat in the corner of the room with her back to the entire room and her buttocks were sticking out of her jeans. In fact, basically they climbed out of her jeans, got up and walked around the bar and proceeded to have conversations with everyone. Every time she shifted her position it got worse as if her jeans were trying to escape. After about thirty minutes her butt crack was basically blowing a Vuvuzela in the middle of the room successfully drawing everyone's attention to it. She had come in with three people that failed to mention this to her and they didn’t appear to be strangers. We called the waiter and asked if he might find some way to politely inform her of her butt crack exposure. After a lot of deliberation with waiter, we all unanimously agreed it had been so long that it would be more embarrassing to actually let her know. So we decided to let her continue to be totally embarrassed but remain ignorant of that fact.NB: This could all have been avoided if she just looked in a mirror.
So next time you look in the mirror, remember my story about The Butt Crack Princess and really appreciate the opportunity you have, to prevent such embarrassment, that the mirror affords you. Heck go out right now and buy a little mirror as a token of your appreciation….…
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