Ladies, your BFF is Ruining things for You!

Isaac Lungu | 4:35 PM |

Bff pic
By Africanlegend.
A BFF, as is commonly known, is short for “Best Friend Forever” which is something some retarded 11 year old girls (or Paris Hilton) came up with that we all picked up and started using.

A wingman is a dude you bring along to take care of spare women, often less attractive, who will undoubtedly and with extreme prejudice blow up and destroy whatever you were trying to achieve with their friend. A wingman is there to limit the damage such a girl can cause. This is similar to the times of war when the enemy tossed a grenade over the lines and a comrade jumped on it to ensure the safety of others. It follows from this analogy that such women (usually BFFs) are often referred to as grenades. The only reason wingmen exist is because ladies keep bringing these terrible, so called BFFs along with them wherever they go.

Your BFF is doing this to your social life!
There is something hardwired into the female psyche that is geared towards ensuring that every other female is unsuccessful with the opposite sex or at least less successful than they are. So if the grenade notices her friend will have a better night than she will, she will explode in a thick cloud of misery and negativity leaving a trail of damage worse than the Chilean earthquake of February 2010. She may do one of the following:

1. Violently, pull her friend away to the bathroom in mid conversation. As if urinating alone will result in some curse of biblical proportions and cause a swarm of locusts to infest the bar.

2. Fake sickness and decided that she needs all nine girls that came out with her to go home with her. Interestingly, she will turn magically healthy enough to watch Oprah re-runs thirty minutes later.

3. Pull you to one side and tell you that you can do better for yourself than HIM. I remember I was with my friend once and he was talking to a girl. Suddenly her friend came back and pulled her to the side and said. “Not him!” Her friend replied, “Why.” to which she responded. “I don’t know but look, you can talk to any other guy in the bar but him!”

4. Create some drama that her friends will feel obligated to be a part of. Suddenly an ex will call her and she’ll start crying or her baby’s daddy will show up at the club with her best friend from high school.

So ladies, bring decent company. Trust me, you’ll have a better night. Don’t be selfish and think of all the wingmen that will have entertain the cancerous friend you have unleashed on the world.

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