51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking, "He must be mad at me."
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
65. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
66. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
67. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
68. Same work....more pay.
69. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
70. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
71. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
72. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
73. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
74. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
75. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
76. The remote is yours and yours alone.
77. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
78. ESPN's sports center.
79. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
80. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
81. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
82. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
83. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
84. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
85. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
86. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
87. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
88. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
80. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
90. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
91. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
92. One mood, all the time.